Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
