By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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