Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
