Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
