Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
