I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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