Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
