Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
