Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
