you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
