Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
