I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
