sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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