all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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