No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
