i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
