Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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