Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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