you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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