You surviving the open bar?
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I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
