win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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