Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
