Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
