i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
