i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
