Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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