Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize