My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
