Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
