I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
