ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
