fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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