Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
