Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
