Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
