Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
