your room smells of hookers.
And success
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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