I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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