The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I didn't notice because vodka
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
