do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
