Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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