I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
