that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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