We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I will pee on everything he values.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
