I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
