What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
