if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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