im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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