How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
