Sponge bath it is.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
