why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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