i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
