i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
