32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Panties = found
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
