I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were trust falling into bushes
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
