I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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