I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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