Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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