8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
