Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
