he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
