i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Rumble strips road head = magical
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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