We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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