Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
