just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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