New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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